So God created human beings in his own image. Genesis 1:27
Last month I was blessed to celebrate another beautiful year of life on this side of eternity. In doing so, I adopted a new mantra that says,
“The better I get at just being me, the better I will be at executing the gifts God has given me.”
-Rachel G. Scott
I know. It sounds great right! And it is, but I quickly realized that in order for me to achieve this ‘better’ version of myself, I was going to have to confront the things that were causing me to be less than my best. I would have to do the hard work of becoming better at being me, and that wasn’t going to be an easy task.
Over the last couple of years, I have been walking through a journey that I believe many of you will be able to relate to. Aside from the transitions that have taken place in the world, there have been a lot of relational transitions that I have been navigating. And if I can be honest, they have been hard and painful. Shifts in relationships with people that I once ‘did life with’ and always thought I would continue doing life with, completely change.
These changes happened so quickly and unexpectedly that I had to start taking a really good look at myself.
At first, condemnation started to creep in and tell me that I was the problem. There had to be something wrong with me. I must have been the cause of the changes in these relationships. But thankfully the Holy Spirit silenced that lying enemy and reminded me that humanity is the problem and God is the solution. Navigating the journey of healing and wholeness is so much safer with God and his loving perspective.
With His truths in my heart, I returned to the drawing board and my first stop was to become aware of how I operated in relationships with others.
One morning during my quiet time I started to pour my heart out to God. My hurts, my pains, my disappointments, and my frustrations. I wanted to know why relationships that were valuable to me were disposable for others and vice versa. Why are relationships so hard?
Now let me preface by saying that I absolutely believe that we can hear the voice of God anytime and anywhere. That is the beauty of having the Holy Spirit in us. We simply have to learn to recognize how our Heavenly Father speaks to us individually. His voice will always point us toward truth and give us a fresh revelation and perspective so that we can be transformed in our hearts and mind.
So, after my time of talking that morning, I grabbed my journal and pencil so that I could listen and write down what he was about to share with me. He said to me,
“Rachel, I know that you have experienced hurt by people you have trusted with your heart and you couldn’t predict that this would happen.
It’s human nature to protect what’s valuable and many people have learned to value unhealthy opinions, attitudes, mindsets, hurts, and beliefs in such a way that these have become an important part of their identity that they protect. Valuable doesn’t always equate to money but it often equates to comfort. Some of the most destructive things to a person’s identity in “Me”, has become of great value to them and they are willing to walk away from anyone and anything to protect it.
It’s not that people don’t value you in relationships, it’s that they value more the things that bring them false comfort.”
As I wrote these words of wisdom and truth in my journal, I couldn’t help but feel the presence of God calm the storm of self-accusation within me as His love began to clean the wounds that were being healed.
While sitting and pondering on this truth, I started to reflect on how I’d seen this value scenario play out in several relationships. Friends that valued and protected their “vulnerability” so that when the relationship required more authenticity, they pulled away. Or the ones that valued, “financial security” and when times were rough, rather than give a helping hand, they avoided and looked down on me.
Ego, pride, abandonment, entitlement, reputation, appearance, vulnerability, security, and so much more can easily gain access to the throne of our hearts. If any of these things become a part of our identity, they will also become something we value and we protect which would be destructive to our true identity in Christ. The bible tells us that we are made in the image of God, so when we begin to value broken and unhealthy parts of our identity, we are unable to experience the full transformation that is available in Christ.
This was a powerful revelation but then God asked me this question that I would like to ask you as well,
“What are you valuing and protecting that is unhealthy and destructive to your identity in me?”
I want to challenge you to sit and ponder this question this week just as I did. Write it down and begin to pray that God would uproot that part of your identity so that you become who he has called you to be.
Next week we will dive deeper into how what we value impacts us internally and externally! It’s time for us to break free.
Rachel G. Scott
Rachel is a wife and a mother, writer, speaker, and entrepreneur. She has been featured nationally and internationally on television, podcast, radio, devotionals, and blogs. As the Founder of the I Can’t Come Down movement, an organization dedicated to helping women walk in their purpose and assignment with focus, she is a former Huffington post contributor and current Youversion and Moody Radio Cleveland Partner. She is also part of The Well Communicators a faith-based speaking team.
Rachel is deeply devoted to serving God, loving and honoring her husband and raising her children in a Godly home where they experience authenticity and learn to embrace their imperfections.